I AM KOREAN AMERICAN

Own Words

I’m fat, fearless, raunchy, and have a laugh that echoes for miles. In other words, I’m every Asian fetishist’s worst nightmare, also known as the Geisha School Dropout (http://geishaschooldropout.typepad.com/).

I’m also a software programmer by day and mom to two lovely quappa children (3/4 Asian, 1/4 Amurcan).

My parents tried their damnedest to raise me to become a very straight-edge Good Korean-American Girl who played the piano charmingly; who was skinny and gorgeous and fashionable, yet not vain and deflected all compliments; a woman who hummed Verdi whilst proofreading her husband’s PhD thesis on nuclear physics while a kimchi casserole is bubbling away on the stove…while vacuuming (and praying to Jesus).

Suffice it to say, they were dismayed when I turned out the way I did. I think my soul slid into the wrong body, and I really should have been born to experience America during the 60’s, armpit hair flowing in the breeze, permanently stoned, fucking all the men and women within a mile radius. I love crunchy hippie things like composting, organic gardening, man-bashing, Noam Chomsky, protesting, etc. So basically I can become a present-day Oakland/Berkeley lesbian. There’s still hope yet.

If for some reason you would like some parenting advice from me: Drink the miyuk guk, it actually helps. Everything else your mom says is antiquated BS though, so don’t do anything that isn’t guaranteed to help you feel better.

You can find the rest on Kimchi Mamas:
http://bit.ly/9a5ac