I AM KOREAN AMERICAN

Own Words

My name is Sylvia, but I was adopted with the name Kim Nah Rae when I was just over 100 days old. My birth mother had a difficult time delivering me and I had surgery as a newborn. As a result, I was put into a foster home instead of an orphanage.

I was adopted into the most amazing family. My parents have now been married for over 40 years and still love each other. As a matter of fact, they truly love each other more every year. They are the best parents anyone could ever want and I am so thankful they are my own. They never treated me like I was adopted, and it was never a question that I was equal to their biological children.

I have five older brothers. The oldest was from my dad’s first marriage and he is developmentally disabled. However, he is able to live on his own with minimal supervision and he works at a grocery store. My second brother is an elementary school principal. He and his wife got married when I was 9; so she is the closest thing I have to a sister. They have three children, one of whom was adopted from China. My third brother and I had a special relationship when I was little. When I look through the pictures from my childhood, it seems like one in every five is of me riding on his shoulders. He is married and has two daughters. My fourth brother is eight years older than me. He really influenced my childhood. He babysat me, coached my soccer team, and influenced my musical preferences. He and his wife have four daughters. My fifth brother is four years older than me. Because I was always very mature for my age, he and I became friends at a young age. Even when I was in junior high and he was in high school, we hung out a lot. He and I are very good friends. He got married earlier this year to a great woman from Bolivia. I have a great relationship with all my brothers, although each relationship is very different. I never had a sister though.

I grew up in a town that is very “white.” Being in Southern California, most of the non-white people are all Hispanic. I didn’t really have any Asian friends when I was growing up. It didn’t bother me because I was used to it. When I went away to college, I started to deal with a lot of identity issues. I really started to question who I was and what I believed and what I wanted out of life.

I began dating Chris when I was 18 and we got married before I turned 21. We have now been married for over 7 1/2 years and I am so thankful I walked down that aisle. We have a 4 year old daughter who changed everything about me. She has brought so much joy to my life and made me love life. We also have an 18 month old son who is his momma’s boy. He loves me and I love him! I love being a mother and a wife and love my life.

Becoming a mother made me really interested in finding out more about my Korean heritage. I began to read about Korean food and culture. I started to be interested in finding my birth parents.

On August 13, 2010, I sent an email to SWS in Korea and they responded that they knew where my birth parents live. On September 13, 2010, I saw pictures of my birth family for the first time. My birth parents were split up when I was born and extremely poor. My birth mother had a daughter from her first marriage (her husband died) and was unable to raise my older half sister and me on her own. She gave me up for adoption. My birth parents reconciled a few months later and tried to find me. I was already adopted and there was nothing they could do. They got married and soon after became pregnant again. My sister was born 16 months after me.

On November 19, 2010, my birth parents came to visit me in California. I had already met my aunt (gomo) and her three children because they actually live near me (90 minutes away). My birth parents came and stayed for 9 days. It was surreal and difficult and amazing and a million other adjectives. My birth parents gave me the Korean name Kim Da Un because I had been named by a social worker as a baby.